Dealing with Rejection

INTRODUCTION

Dealing with rejection is something we have to learn about because we all go through rejection at different times of our life. One of the hurtful experiences in life that can ever be is to be rejected by your family, your peers, or your loved one. Perhaps you have experienced that and maybe some of you are going through that right now. I want to tell you; you are not alone. In the Bible Joseph was rejected by his brothers in a very bad way. Moses was rejected by his people who he led over and over again. David was rejected by Saul and was on the run from Saul. Apostle Paul was rejected by both the Jews and gentiles alike. And finally, Jesus was rejected. They all overcame rejection and moved on to pursue their dreams.

Rejection is the most painful of all of the emotions we face. Rejection goes straight to the core of the person who we are. If someone rejects you, it causes the rejected person to feel less respect for themselves, less worthy, and very critical about themselves. So, rejection has to be dealt with. Even if you have forgotten your rejection, you have not done with it if you have not dealt with it and forgiven them from your heart.

1. Reason for Rejection

i. Sin

But understand we are all born with rejection because of our sin. We are all born rejected by a holy God because of sin. We were born with a sense of separation or rejection. The great thing is we can be born again accepted.

1 Samuel 15:23 Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as king.

Hosea 4:6 Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests.

Genesis 4:7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?

Even when a believer sins, there is that sense of deep rejection in his heart until he gets right with God.

ii. Others

Every day we have chances to be rejected by others.

iii. Parents

Parents you can hurt your child and put the seed of rejection in them very early in life. They never forget that. Some parents say to their children, “You are not good enough, you are a fool, you stupid. I wish you were not born. You are a liar. You have wasted my money. You are not good looking. We actually did not plan for you. You are a burden. Preferring one child over the other, giving gifts to one and ignoring the other.” All this sends a deep, deep message of rejection in that child early in life. The worst thing that can happen to a child is for the parents to reject them.

iv. Peers

Many people go through a lot of bullying and teasing from their friends and colleagues that can put the seed of rejection in them.

ILLUSTRATION

Charles Andy Williams was a 15-year-old schoolboy in San Diego, California. In 2001, Williams brought his father’s gun into the boys’ bathroom at school and opened fire on students and teachers. In an 8-minute shooting spree, Williams killed 2 students and wounded 11 and 2 staff. Investigation into the shootings said peer rejection was the reason for the shooting. Some witnesses reported that Williams was smiling as he shot, as if he was getting back at people who had rejected him. Peer rejection is prevalent among children, friends, and colleagues.

v. Spouse

In marriage, husband, and wife relationship is a place where people tend to get rejected over and over and over again. Some people use rejection to control others, especially in husband-wife rejection. If can reject the other person, I can control them and get what I want. So, I will reject them as long as I get them to do what I want. It has got very devastating effects on your relationship and overall health. If you have heard your spouse speak, “I don’t believe you. I don’t trust you anymore. You rejected me in front of your family. You never stood for me.” These are all words of rejection.

Then there is rejection of intimacy in marriage. It leaves the other partner feel ugly, unworthy, unwanted, and unloved. You may have all the money and everything in the world but the person they love say I do not love you anymore, I do not want you anymore, you are not worth living with, you do not belong to me, you are not good enough. There is so much of rejection in that person.

ILLUSTRATION

Some people come back from work, maybe husband or the wife and had a tough day at job. They come home and all of a sudden start yelling and talking tough to the loved ones. The other spouse comes with a lot of expectation that day. If you are married, you will know what I am saying. They come and get you upset, and they feel fine and go to sleep, but you feel bad and go to bed crying and feeling rejected.

Divorce is one of the most painful experiences of rejection in life. When two people who love each other in marriage, they are one flesh and one body and walk away from the marriage, the other person is left with painful rejection. Imagine if there is adultery, how much of rejection and bitterness it can cause?

vi. Self

Some people reject themselves. Many people are very judgmental on themselves.

a. False Opinion of Themselves

It maybe past experiences, their upbringing, or what others have said them. Sometimes people try to measure up to someone and they feel rejected. They then conclude, “I am not good enough. I do not look good. My hair is not good. My income is bad, and it goes on and on. I am not worthy. I am not wanted. I don’t really matter. Sometimes it comes from other’s words or sometimes they are imagined.

b. Physical Defects

How tall you are, how short, thin, fat, hair, colour of your hair.

vii. Death of A Loved One

When their loved one passes away, they take it as rejected by the society, rejected from God.

2. Characteristics of a Rejected Person

Most of the time rejection is not seen in the outside and we know how to cover things up. But when rejection takes root invariably it comes out.

i. Critical. They become very critical of self and others. For them to feel good they bring you down to where they are. They have difficulty loving others and accepting others.

ii. Feeling of inferiority. So, they are loaners. They do not want to have any friends because they have been hurt and rejected once.

iii. Attention seeking. Over attention on appearance, dress, looks. Interest on material things of the world. I want to prove myself attitude or that gives me acceptance.

iv. Quick anger. They are easily angered.

v. Attitude of superiority.

vi. Easily hurt.

vii. Suspicious.

3. Rejecting Rejection

How do you handle rejection? Rejection happens all the time. The world, friends give worldly ways of overcoming it. Some gets into drinks, drugs, gamble, suicide etc. I am going to give you the right way to handle our rejection.

Ways to Overcome Rejection

i. Introspect Yourself

We need to have a genuine check to see if we have caused our own rejection. Are people rejecting us because of my problem? Did I do or say something so that I am rejected? Start praying and working on you, God will show it to you. Work on it.

ii. Accept the Lord

Rejection is a feeling of abandonment and the first way to overcome it is to find acceptance. The key is to find acceptance from a person who will never reject you again. That person is the Lord Jesus Christ. Remember God never rejects you. We are all born with rejection, rejected by God or separated by God because of our sin. The great thing is we can be born again and be accepted by God.

Look at one of the purposes of Jesus coming into this world. Luke 4:19 KJV To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.

2 Corinthians 6:2 NKJV For He says: “In an acceptable time I have heard you, and in the day of salvation I have helped you.” Behold, now is the accepted time; behold now is the day of salvation.

Ephesians 1:6 He (Jesus) hath made us accepted in the beloved.

Those who are already in Christ, have the deep conviction that God has accepted you.

Let me ask you: Are you accepted by the Lord? Are you God’s child? Does He love you? Are you the apple of His eye? Has God engraved you in the palm of his hands? Then, is there a need to feel abandoned?

Now listen to Romans 8:31-39 ³¹What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

iii. You Belong to God

I belong to God. God is in me. Romans 8:16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. He welcomed us into the family of God. we belong to God. He welcomed us into the kingdom of God.

iv. God Counts You Worthy

I am worth something. I am of value. God loves me. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 8:38-39 ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God considers us worthy, died for us, living inside of you. God loves you.

v. You Are Competent in The Lord

You have the ability to succeed. I can do it. I can handle my life. God gives me strength to do all things. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

4. Learn from Jesus’ Rejection

When we go through rejection it is always good to go to someone who has gone through rejection. In Mark 6, we have the experience of the rejection of Jesus.

Mark 6:1-6 ¹Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. ²When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed. (Jesus’ ministry has been in Capernaum. Now he is returning to his hometown. Jesus brothers, childhood friends, neighbors, relatives are all there.) “Where did this man get these things?” they asked. “What’s this wisdom that has been given him? What are these remarkable miracles he is performing? ³Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. ⁴Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town, among his relatives and in his own home.” ⁵He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. ⁶He was amazed at their lack of faith.

Now come with me to v7. Jesus is talking about the outreach of the gospel to his disciples and teaching them on rejection here. Mark 6:7-13 ⁷Calling the Twelve to him, he began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over impure spirits. ⁸These were his instructions: “Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. ⁹Wear sandals but not an extra shirt. ¹⁰Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. ¹¹And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.” ¹²They went out and preached that people should repent. ¹³They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.

Just like Jesus was rejected by his own family. The disciples are also bound to be rejected sometimes all you have to do when someone rejects you is to shake the dust off and move on.

i. Be Cautious of Your Connections

Be careful about who you connect yourself to. Matthew 10:11 Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at his house until you leave.

ii. Learn to Brush Off Rejection

Mark 6:11 And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.

Offence causes bitterness and bitterness causes anger. You can never progress in life if you are still staying with rejection and bitterness. Learn to take the loss. Accept rejection. It keeps us humble and check our pride. This is a way for God to lift us up because pride goes before a fall and God lifts the humble. Every job will not be prosperous, every friendship will not last forever. Take the loss. Know when it is time to leave. Do not stick around in a place that has rejected you. Don’t beg and pledge but leave. Accept the loss and keep on moving. Do not beg, plead, call them or tell everybody about it.

iii. Perceive Another Possibility

They realized that if this town did not receive my gift there is another town that is willing to receive me. It does not matter what door has been closed, God has another possibility. God has another job, another place. Don’t sit down rejected because God is able to make a new door for you.

It could be that rejection was God’s place. It could be that the closed door was God’s way of not settling you for less but to redirect you to God’s best in your life. He may crush the dream you have, so that he can open your eyes to dream something better that he has ordained in store for you.

So do not sit down rejected. You are accepted by the Lord. You belong to God. God counts you worthy. You are competent in the Lord. Brush off, shake off your bitterness and pursue ahead.

So, what if somebody reject you? What is it in my past that crops us every once in a while? Is it what something that someone said, or something that happened? Or have you misinterpreted it? It is going to be there unless you deal with it. God can help you deal with it. Ask God, acknowledge it is there, ask God the power to overcome it in Jesus’ name.

Now, there may be some people in your life that you would have rejected. You have said things that you should not have said, not acted to them the way you should not have acted, you rejected them for some reason. You should have the courage to go to that person and ask for forgiveness.

Say I apologize and I ask you to forgive me and set things right in your life. Do unto others what you want them to do to you. I you do what God said, you are going to be free.

You can never progress in life if you are staying with rejection and bitterness. Reject rejection and pursue ahead for God’s.