The Blessing of Obedience | Ephesians 6
The Blessing of Obedience | Ephesians 6
INTRODUCTION
Do you know there’s something right, good, and blessed about a child who learns in their childhood the blessing of obedience and honour.
We are called to honour our parents.
When the Bible says in sin did my mother conceive me, it helps me understand that I was born a sinner. No one had to teach me to do wrong. We display selfishness, rebellion at an early age, and obedience do not naturally overcome it because we are sinners by nature.
One of the characteristics of the last days is disobedient children.
ILLUSTRATION
I read a story about a little girl who was sitting at the counter while her mom was working in the kitchen. She noticed something about her mom that she’d not seen before. She noticed a few silver strands that were showing themselves in her otherwise very dark hair. So, she said to her mom, “Mom, why do you have those silver hairs?” And her mom said, “well every time you do something bad, every time you make mommy sad, I get one of those hairs.” And the girl looked very sad. Then she looked at her mom, and she said, “Mom, why are all of grandma’s hairs white?” Good question.
Ephesians 6:1-3
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—3“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
How many of you know the song?
Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe.
Doing exactly as the Lord commands, doing it happily.
Action is the key, do it immediately, joy you will receive.
Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe.
O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E.
Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe.
There’s a lot of truth in that song.
2 Timothy 3
1But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
The characteristics of those that are people of the last day is defined by those who are disobedient to parents.
HF: So, today we’re going to pause and look at this Ephesians 6, the idea of what does it look like for children all the days of their life to honour and obey their parents?
The first thing we’re going to look at today is:
1. The Precept – The command
2. The Principle – The principle behind the command
3. The Promise – The promise that is attached to the precept and the principle.
1. The Precept – The command
Ephesians 6:1-2
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2“Honor your father and mother”—
Well, what the apostle Paul’s doing is that he’s harkening back to the first commandment that was given with a promise attached to the command. It’s from Exodus 20:12. It is the fifth of the Ten Commandments.
Exodus 20:12
12“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
This is a command that is taught all throughout Scripture.
Leviticus 19:3
3“‘Each of you must respect your mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God.
Proverbs 6:20-22
20My son, keep your father’s command
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
21Bind them always on your heart;
fasten them around your neck.
22When you walk, they will guide you;
when you sleep, they will watch over you;
when you awake, they will speak to you.
Colossians 3:20
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
These passages and so many others simply instruct us to obey and to honour our parents.
It is certainly possible to obey without honour, but impossible to honour apart from obedience. This is why God and how God first gives this command to honour in the Ten Commandments, and He did so without the mention of obedience. God just says, “Honour your father and your mother.” He does so with the implied understanding that you cannot honour your parents without a connected obedience to the same.
The Holy Spirit gives further clarification in the New Testament. He adds the word “obey” but this is an understood connection to the word honor. Notice how Paul connects this command, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” This obedience is to be done in the Lord, so, when we neglect to honour our parents, the Holy Spirit is saying this is not only a sin against your parents, but ultimately this is a sin against the God who gave them to you.
Church, one of the main words used in the Old Testament for the glory of God is the word kavod. It carries the idea of weight, importance, worth, something heavy with significance. God is glorious because He is the weightiest, the most important, the most worthy of all. Now this is striking: the same word family is used when the Bible says we are to honour our father and mother. In other words, to honour our parents is to give them weight, to treat them as important, not lightly, not casually, not dismissively. God is teaching us that honour is serious.
When God was correcting prophet Eli for not correcting his children, He makes a connection not only to the weight of honour but also to the light manner with which He will interact with those who fail to give weight to their parents.
1 Samuel 2:30-33
30“Therefore the Lord, the God of Israel, declares: ‘I promised that members of your family would minister before me forever.’ But now the Lord declares: ‘Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained. 31The time is coming when I will cut short your strength and the strength of your priestly house, so that no one in it will reach old age, 32and you will see distress in my dwelling. Although good will be done to Israel, no one in your family line will ever reach old age. 33Every one of you that I do not cut off from serving at my altar I will spare only to destroy your sight and sap your strength, and all your descendants will die in the prime of life.
God says, “Those who honour Me, I will honour.” That means honour matters to God. So when we honour our parents, we treat them as important, valuable, and worthy of respect. We do not take them lightly, because God does not take honour lightly.
How far do we have to take this principle?
Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
We obey parents in a manner that is consistent with the word of God throughout their lives.
How long should I honour my parents?
For that question I want to ask: For how long should I honour God? Well, we would honour God all the days of our life.
How long should a person honour their father and their mother? I believe that this is an ongoing principle, that we honour them all the days of our life.
Clearly there comes a time when you don’t call your dad and mom and you say, “Is it okay for me to have dinner with the my fried this week? I mean, there comes a time when they transfer those responsibilities to you. Primarily that is the time when you are a person living on your own, you’re taking care of your own responsibilities, you’re no longer relying on the provision of your parents. But there is an ongoing principle that says I want to honour my dad and my mom all the days of my life.
ILLUSTRATION
I heard the story of a son who called dad and I said, “Dad, I need some advice, and I need to know what to do.” Dad said, “Son, you are 22 years old and you’re old enough to make that decision for yourself.” The son said, “Thanks for the help dad, okay. Well, now I know I’m the one responsible for this decision, but I am interested in what would you do.” Then the dad gave me some simple advice.
There will be times when parents transfer decision making to children and children will have to step up and be prepared to make those decisions in the line the parents have taught them. That does not mean that we no longer honour my parents? No, I want to honour my dad and my mom all the days of my life.
So, how do we honour our parents?
a. Simple Obedience.
You honour our parents with simple and immediate obedience. We obey them immediately with a right attitude. When my parents give direction, I obey and I respond with honour.
ILLUSTRATION
What is the difference between honour and obedience. Imagine a dad asked him son, “Son, can you please give me the book which is the 1st one in the shelf?” The son takes the book and bangs it fast to the table. Now at another time, the son has asked for a favour, “Dad, I want to go with my friends will you give me permission?” Yes son, be careful, but you can go. As he is getting ready, the dad asks, “Son can you give me the pen from the drawer?” The son comes and gives the pen in dad’s hand with a smile.
Now did he obey? Right away in both cases. But was there honour attached? Not in the first case.
Do you know, there is something about honour and obedience, the two go together?
How can I honour my parents?
b. Acknowledge them.
This doesn’t matter the age or stage of life you are in right now. You may be very young. You may be not so young, and you may be out of the home, but acknowledge your father and your mother. Text them. Call them. If you’re living in the home, greet your parents immediately when they come home. Stand up if needed to give them space to sit.
You say well, “Mom I was right in the middle of a game.” Listen, you know how to pause your game. Pause your game and look at your parents in the eye and say hey, dad, good to see you. How was your day? Do you know what you just did?
This was not following some command offered by your parent. You just honoured your father by pausing something that you were engaged in, maybe engrossed in, and you said somebody of great importance just walked in the door and I put weight on the fact that that’s my dad or that’s my mom, and so, they’re important people to me.
So, pause, hey dad, good to see you. How was your day today? Do you know what you just did? You just honoured your father. You just provided some means by which you could honour your mom.
c. Listen with intent
When they speak to you, look at them in the eyes and listen with intent.
How many times do parents say to children, are you listening to me? I’m going to say this for the Nth time. Are you listening to me?
Do you know, one of the reasons why parents repeat things is because of a reservation regarding their confidence that they’re being listened to. Listen to your father and your mother. Do so with intention. Look at them in the eyes. I mean pause, look at them.
Do you know, there are passages in Scripture that talk about inclining thine ear to? It means we’re leaning into. I don’t want to miss this. Shhh. Quiet. I want to hear what’s being said. There’s some means by which we honour our parents when we look at them and listen to the instruction they’re providing.
d. Include them.
Include them instead of isolating them from your life. Include them, make them part of your life, your decisions.
Often times parents ask some 20-questions type of a game to try to figure out what’s going on in my daughter’s life. Some children ask their parents, “Why do you want to know everything? Do you not trust me?” But instead of doing that, include them in the things that are going on in your life, talk to them, fill them in on. Hey, this is what happened through the course of my day. Talk to them about the events of your life. Tell them things that are going on inside your head. Speak to them about your friends and who you meet. Talk to your dad and your mom.
e. Spend time with them.
Children need to spend more time with your parents than your friends.
Look for opportunities to say hey, Dad and Mom, can we hang out? Now, you might say, “I tried that, but my parents are so busy.” Parents make time with your children a priority. Let’s keep trying. Do you know, one of ways you honour your parent is demonstrate to them I like being with you, spending time in your presence.
Ask them questions about them, know their history, forgive them when they are wrong, speak well of them in public, care for them when they are aging.
Failure to honour your parents is an insult to God’s authority. He’s the One who chose them for you. Failure to honour our parents is in no uncertain terms a failure to honor God Himself.
This is the precept; it is the command.
2. THE PRINCIPLE
The principle that’s demonstrated here is one of authority and submission. God is the ultimate authority, He’s ordained parental authority, and ultimately a child who obeys and honours their parents is obeying and honouring God. Without this principle in action no culture, no church, no government, and of course no family can function the way God intended. God, in perfect wisdom intended for us to begin learning the principle of obedience very early in life. And then we’re to carry it with us all throughout our days.
Understand that for a child to obey they must first be given a command to follow. Let me say that again. Parents, for a child to obey they must first be given a command that actually allows them the opportunity to do the obeying and honouring.
Notice the pattern that we find in Scripture.
Genesis 18:19
19For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just, so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”
God say I know Abraham, I know what he’s going to do, he’s going to give some instruction, directive, some commands to his children that he expects them to follow.
When speaking through Moses God said:
Deuteronomy 32:45-46
45When Moses finished reciting all these words to all Israel, 46he said to them, “Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law.
Okay, I’ve given you this instruction, now parents, you command your children to follow these instructions. Parents must do the work of giving their children something to obey. This is done by means of a command. Without a command there’s no ability to teach a child to obey. They’re not learning the principle of those in authority and those under authority.
For example:
Have you ever said to a child okay, “It’s your turn to do the dishes?” Has a child ever said, “Well, why isn’t mom doing the dishes? Why can’t mom do the dishes?” And then at times we even answer with something like this, we say something like, “Well, mom does the dishes all the time. Mom does a lot of work in the home. Mom is a busy lady and mom needs a little break.” But you know, we’re not really teaching the child that you’re doing this because mom is mom, and your parents just said it’s time to do the dishes.
You need to go and take care of the dog. “Well, why can’t dad take care of the dog? Well, because dad’s had a busy day at work. Dad worked all day. Well, I worked at school all day.
You see, the point is not is this some equitable deal. The point is dad or mom gave a command to the child and anticipated it to be obeyed. So, don’t teach that because we all share in responsibilities in the home. That may be true but the point that the child needs to learn at that moment is there was a command given from a person who has the right to give commands.
Let me ask this, does God have a right to command? And when we command children to obey because dad and mom are persons of authority and they’re people of importance. Dad and mom can command and whether or not they’ve had a busy day or an easy day.
I’m not saying be unkind, I’m not saying be harsh, but I am saying that for children to obey a command has to first be offered. The principle of obedience is much bigger than a person’s parents. It’s the order that God has set forth in which we all operate. This is the principle that frames the context for the rest of our life. And a frame is for a picture, although the picture is primary, the frame is important, and this framing of this pattern of obedience to God-ordained authority is an important frame for the picture of life.
Do you know, as we wrap this up, we see not only the precept that’s given, the principle, but we see a wonderful promise that God connects to these precepts and principles.
3. THE PROMISE
Ephesians 6:3
3“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
Moms say this all the time. When children ask, “Why do I have to take this, or why do I have to eat this, or why do I have to do this?” Moms say because it’s good for you. Do you know, one of the wonderful truths about children obeying their father and their mother is “that it may be well with thee.” It is good for us to understand the powerful precept and principle of obedience. It comes with a promise.
The words “that it may be well with you” are quite significant.
Do you want your children to honour you? Well, then, by the way parents, set a picture of you honouring your parents.
Do you want life to treat you well? Treat your parents well.
The Bible refers to this passage where a child looks at their parent with derision:
Proverbs 30:17
“The eye that mocks a father,
that scorns an aged mother,
will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley,
will be eaten by the vultures.
The sense that we’re getting here is the person who despises their parents doesn’t see life accurately. There is something about submitting to God-ordained parental authority that allows me to see life as God intended for it to be seen.
Do you remember the words spoken of Christ regarding His obedience? This is spoken of Jesus:
Hebrews 5:8
Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered
How in the world does Jesus learn anything? Do you know what the idea of learned here means? It means experienced He obedience. He experienced it. When had Jesus had to obey prior to Him putting on flesh and dwelling among us? He was the King of kings, Lord of lords, but now He comes and He experiences obedience in flesh. Do you know what God invites us to do as well? Experience the same. How do we learn to do a thing? By doing it.
Children, are you obeying and honouring your parents?
And parents, whether your parents are still living or are now gone, are you honouring yours?
CONCLUSION
So let us bring this together.
The Precept
Children, obey your parents in the Lord.
Honour your father and your mother.
The Principle
God teaches us the pattern of authority and submission beginning in the home.
The Promise
There is blessing in the path of obedience. It is the good and wise way of God.
Now let me speak to three groups before we close.
To children: Obey your parents.
Do it quickly.
Do it respectfully.
Do it gladly.
Not because they are perfect, but because God has placed them in your life. And when you obey with honour, you please the Lord.
To young people: Do not treat your parents lightly.
Value them.
Listen to them.
Respect them.
Ask for wisdom.
Do not push them to the edge of your life.
There is blessing in learning honour now.
To adults
Even if you are grown, even if you are independent, even if you now make your own decisions, the call to honour still remains.
Call them.
Care for them.
Speak well of them.
Treat them with dignity.
And if your parents are no longer living, let their memory still be treated with respect.
And above all, let us remember Christ.
Jesus is the obedient Son.
Jesus is the One who obeyed the Father perfectly.
Jesus is the One who did what Adam failed to do, what Israel failed to do, what we have failed to do.
And through His obedience—even unto death—we rebellious sinners can be forgiven, changed, and taught to walk in newness of life.
So this sermon is not just moral instruction. It is a call back to the wisdom of God, under the grace of Christ, by the help of the Spirit.
Children, obey your parents.
Parents, lead your children in grace and truth.
All of us, honour the God whose wisdom is always right.
And may the Lord help us to see that obedience is not a burden when it is given by a good Father. It is a blessing.
Amen.